Gary Gooch

The healthcare document also included a characterization regarding Kirker's PTSD that would have lasting consequences following his burglary arrest inside 2014.

He left the memorial services tomorrow as well as didn't rejoin his family.

"I believe some of the blame lies with my command," he wrote.

Tacoma Vet center is actually a VA plan that will puts counselors out in communities. Since Cindy noticed it, her husband had abandoned the woman's as well as their teenagers along with Bergren's help. That They said they'd continue the real date three a extended time later.

Radio silence can be worse. He wept over your soldier he attempted to speak from enlisting. Dennis Williams

He left the girl within seven several weeks involving returning from the war, moving to a apartment inside Steilacoom because, he said, "I don't want my kids to determine me the way in which I am. Bergren mentioned your woman wrestled your gun from him.

"I'm still holding my breath thinking whom is likely to be next," Francheska Brinkley, a spouse of a 1-17 veteran, wrote about Facebook as information associated with Kirker's death spread. Michael Dahl Jr

The Kirkers and also Sawyers had grown near before the deployment. This lost 22 soldiers while trying to find Taliban insurgents within 2009-10 just as the U.S. Dale Griffin, Sgt. This had been the particular silence which adopted he couldn't stand.

""He greatly held items throughout his heart, and he wasn't able to allow go," the girl said.


The final period he noticed his son alive, James Kirker Sr. These People noted which he had been turning out for you to be combative along with leadership, including arguments with a command sergeant main throughout public.

Kirker had tried to fight his discharge, composing to an officer that will his post-war health-related struggles and also anxiety from his divorce which yr had left him sensation worthless.

In March 2014, another veteran with the deployment had been shot to death through police in his School Location apartment. 21, 2009: Spc. Any support team with regard to 1-17 veterans lit up immediately.

The medic who joined the actual Army in age 34 simply because he had been quoted saying he wanted "to just take proper care of soldiers" killed himself this year, inside March. John Hallett III, Capt. "Some involving the things they need to deal with -- they make great choices -- however the baggage they will recreate will be unbelievable."

Disciplinary documents obtained by the News Tribune reveal that Madigan had moved forward having an "other compared to honorable" discharge that will could have resulted in the loss involving benefits. Brian McLeod reportedly answered the entranceway using a shotgun in hand after a struggle using a buddy in the 1-17 prompted neighbors to call police.

The second incident happened final summer, when he contracted any flesh-eating bacteria within a hip surgery from Madigan Army Health-related Center.

Over any six-pack, the particular father told his son: "You're planning to see, hear as well as smell issues you're in no way planning to forget. Their Own names and furthermore the dates they were killed:

Aug. Jared Stanker, Pfc. Issac Jackson, Spc. call to have got an appointment with (800) 404-4506.

Necrotizing fasciitis ate away from his leg muscle. It is available with (253) 565-7038.

March 4, 2010: Sgt. Christopher Walz, Sgt. created yet another trip back for the Northwest with regard to his son's funeral throughout Tumwater. Aaron Aamot, Spc. Kirker didn't admit for you to breaking to the home when deputies detained him in the woods nearby, yet he informed officers he "wanted in order to finish the minds throughout his head," according to police records. It has been his sixth try to finish his life, his household said.

Cindy Kirker, his wife since get older 20, noticed which he'd mistake memories associated with their youth within southwest Ohio. He told Cindy as well as later Bergren he shot an innocent boy during a shootout using insurgents.

It concluded which his PTSD predated his military service. "And he just finally mentally, emotionally as well as bodily had muscle failure."


This wasn't the lengthy run Kirker imagined with regard to himself and the family when he left his career as a civilian paramedic inside Ohio to join the Army inside 2006 at the height in the Iraq War.

"Those guys had been harm bad," he said. With the actual time, each had been married nevertheless anticipating separations from their spouses. 1st Class Ronald Sawyer, Pfc. military began to expand its forces for the cause why that war.

"That sounded exactly like an IED blast," Kirker later on informed his ex-wife. He looked at the actual young men from your 1-17 whom shared his grief and also observed his son's struggles.

Oct. 17, 2009: Spc. He regretted not risking their own existence in the shootout to pull your boy for you to safety.

Worse, Kirker convinced himself he'd end up being punished using a dishonorable discharge that would deny him the actual veterans rewards he had earned by serving throughout Afghanistan.

Kirker didn't reply to some text your woman sent him when the girl woke up. He didn't want to aid keep the woman's awake.

His suicide had been the latest tragedy to be able to befall a bunch regarding veterans and also Army family members that have shared too many deaths given which they met in JBLM within the buildup into a fateful tour inside Afghanistan.

"I chose coming house for you instead of saving in which kid," he informed Cindy.


Three many years following Kirker came home via Afghanistan, Army leaders wanted him out with the military.

"He was always an extremely neat and also organized person," Kirker Sr. Patrick Williamson

Nov. Kyle Coumas

Kirker Sr. Cory Jenkins, Sgt. she walked towards the garage, where the lady located any suicide note and his awesome body, hanging.


News of Kirker's death early March 23 rocked the actual soldiers that served along with him in Afghanistan. "Tell Sarah I'm sorry," he said, referring to always be able to Sawyer's wife.

It would become a startling attack in which destroyed the 20-ton Stryker along with claimed the actual lives of your organization commander and the 1-17's top doctor.

He couldn't walk upstairs comfortably as well as do significantly of the yardwork that sometimes eased his mind, he wrote 4 months ago in the list of ailments in which the News Tribune reviewed.

Officers wrote in the July 2013 performance evaluation that will his PTSD was interfering together along with his work. 5, 2009: Spc. in Afghanistan, Scherf had survived a bomb which killed seven additional soldiers inside their 20-ton Stryker.

Oct. "The worst thing the medic could hear after which is dead silence."

On that day within Afghanistan, the buried bomb killed Capt. Its behavioral well being sources tend to be outlined at Kevin Graham

Kirker took his life before his case had concluded. "We just stood a brutal deployment."

His father, James Kirker Sr., any veteran of a pair of combat tours inside Vietnam, took his son aside for any frank talk about war.

Back home, Cindy discovered in regards to become able to the attack from a telephone message the woman's husband left. You're going to get to complete things that tend to be unnatural in order to you. 18, 2009: Sgt. He'd even be assigned in order to Madigan's around-the-clock monitoring mental health ward, known as 5 North.


Kirker's descent accelerated inside the spring and summer of 2014. He achieved it with a disciplinary discharge looming more than his Army career.

Sept. Because the particular months wore on, Kirker joined the actual battalion within fighting alongside Marines in Helmand province. 26, 2009: Spc. Bergren filed any complaint which triggered an investigation from the agency charged with accrediting the particular hospital, and an unannounced inspection in the hospital on Might 27.

The very first came in April, when Thurston County sheriff's deputies located him carrying any neighbor's pistol just after a woman had reported a new burglary. Anthony Paci

"It's scary because a new large amount of guys are depressed," mentioned Derek MacDougall, 26, a 1-17 veteran whom founded your social media support group to help friends reconnect.

In many ways, he by zero means would.

The Army reassigned him to some clinic from Madigan Army medical Center, where a co-worker named Lanaye Bergren caught his eye.

In what's believed to be his first suicide attempt, Kirker raised a gun for you to kill himself in July 2011. 25, 2009.

His death ripped open up the scars as soon as more.

The medical records his fiancee showed What May be The News Tribune also indicate that doctors acknowledged his PTSD had been exacerbated through his military service. He felt disregarded through his leaders, too, as they believed these folks were not really providing him productive perform that might aid him recover.

Back then, Kirker chose to enlist because he wanted "to take care of soldiers" as opposed to the drug addicts he advised Cindy he'd often meet around the job.

He seemed troubled practically as soon he returned from the war, avoiding loved ones and friends whom reminded him regarding Afghanistan.

Sgt. 31, 2009: Pfc. They Will shared memories regarding Doc Kirker working to keep them alive.

It ended up being signed in November 2014 through former Madigan Commander Col.

It drove a wedge between Kirker and the family. Fernando De La Rosa, Sgt. An Army spokesman advised What is The News Tribune he could not comment around the discipline. Jordan Brochu, Spc. Any series of incidents pushed him past his breaking point.

Kirker, Cindy as well as their a pair of kids transferred to Fort Lewis the actual next year to participate a brand name new Army Stryker brigade constructing up for a deployment to end up being able to war.


The invisible wounds that would plague Kirker for the extended time began using a mission he missed upon Aug. John Hallett, Capt. Jonathan Welch

Sawyer, restless to continue the mission, took Kirker's spot.

Even Cindy, which mourned the individual your ex husband had grow in order to be following your war, believed Kirker had been receiving better. Your military is generally prohibited from giving punitive discharges in order to soldiers which act out following creating mental health conditions from coverage for you to combat.

He wrote to always be able to the News Tribune inside February, charging which his surgical infection had been being "swept beneath the carpet." Madigan officials wouldn't tell him whether or not it had been investigating what caused his necrotizing fasciitis.

On the night prior to he killed himself, he visited Bergren inside their bedroom however shared with her he ended up being sensation restless. believed the medic would recover in the war.

Madigan wouldn't normally remark upon Kirker's infection. said. This means a new fallen soldier couldn't answer comrades operating to become able to help.

After Sawyer's death, Cindy Kirker said, your ex husband developed a point out carry on as many missions while he could. Sawyer had been the actual battalion senior enlisted medic; Kirker had been certainly one of his guys.

Current military service members along with military retirees could access programs with Madigan Army Healthcare Center. That sounded as if he planned to become able to go.

Oct. 25, 2009: Capt. Jonathan Yanney

"He saved my life," stated Jeremiah Butts regarding Utah, a former Army specialist whom credits Kirker using keeping him alive following an explosion.

Kirker believed he must have been about the mission together with Hallett delivering humanitarian assistance and achieving to become able to know one of the villages they'd end up being patrolling.

Their relationship developed faster than they intended.

On that trip to his son's Yelm residence within November 2014, the actual younger Kirker looked relaxed inside a method he hadn't throughout years. Troy Tom, Pfc. Roger Scherf, who ended up being simply killed in the Spanaway auto accident within March 2011. An Individual do not necessarily want to do this."

The Washington state Department associated with Veterans Affairs provides counseling along using a listing of various other regional resources. "Sadly, that's how I believe a new lot of people felt throughout that will deployment, certainly not if and when, but who is next? While if death has been inevitable to these strong, younger noble men."


That James Roger Kirker took their own existence didn't surprise the people who knew him well.

But the younger Kirker "always returned having a better argument" supporting his selection to enlist.


A health-related record attached for the evaluation exhibits Kirker has been having nightmares and avoiding those who reminded him associated with Afghanistan.. Via Bergren's standpoint, Cindy and in addition the kids had pushed the soldier away from them.

Soldiers Project Northwest is a team associated with mental health treatment professionals in the Puget sound region which volunteer time to suit your current needs to meet together with troops and veterans. that indicates he even now may well are already in a new position to fight for a neutral discharge that might allow him to retain his benefits.

Twenty-two soldiers via Joint Base Lewis-McChord's 1st Battalion, 17th Infantry Regiment had been killed within Afghanistan in the particular course of his or her 2009-10 deployment. James Roger Kirker didn't thoughts the actual boom of your ceremonial cannon in a Joint Base Lewis-McChord Memorial Day celebration five-years ago. These People worked on a classic automobile together. Their Own daughter had reached out to be able to him over the wintertime to invite him to end up being able to your ex secondary school graduation. Kirker felt pain inside his leg as well as hip while he recovered through his surgical infection, but the family members made accommodations for him.

Aug. He said he planned for you to mess about inside the garage.

His arrest on which day set in motion an Army disciplinary procedure that might finish throughout his expulsion from the military.

"You are just in a position to trudge through mud thus long," the lady stated about Kirker's lengthy bout using PTSD. Tyler Walshe, Spc. for a lot more information, visit

But behind the scenes, Kirker kept battling with almost all the Army over his pending discharge and treatment in Madigan.

Aug. He spent weeks at Madigan recovering and also emerged with even worse pain compared to become able to the original injury that will brought him for the operating room.

Bergren today even now sounds appalled that the Army physician would label Kirker's PTSD like a pre-existing condition when just about all involving his signs and symptoms centered on his memories of Afghanistan.

In the actual five years since your 1-17 came home, the disturbing run involving at least eight stateside deaths offers rattled its veterans along with reminded them the deployment hasn't ended its them.

The diagnosis meant Kirker is most likely not qualified for certain legal protections. Your Army officially established he incurred it during his work like a civilian paramedic prior to he joined the Army inside 2006.

Over time, he'd be dedicated twice to a post-traumatic stress and alcohol abuse program within Portland. "When I has been there in July, his garage would become a total mess. 1st Class Luis Gonzalez, Sgt. Inside November, his garage had been neat, when I found that, I thought he turned a corner; he's coming back."

Kirker, 42, served in the 1st Battalion, 17th Infantry Regiment -- the system that will suffered more fatal casualties in the Afghanistan war as compared to every other comparable Army force. 1st Class Ron Sawyer and also Spc. Ramona Fiorey to always be able to discipline Kirker for the April burglary arrest and for his failure to demonstrate approximately work a few days in early 2014. It's not obvious whether he actually could have lost his rewards along with been exposed to any punitive discharge.

It was the second moment that might haunt Kirker following his homecoming. I nevertheless have what to work out."

To a medic recently house through Afghanistan, fun meant a near friend could potentially be hurt but rescued.

It cited incidents coming from his combat deployment since the root of his anguish -- his guilt pertaining to lacking the mission in which killed Sawyer, his shut coverage for you to multiple explosions, and the shootout where he killed the particular Afghan boy.

Kirker killed himself while coping with grinding pain from the surgical infection he developed from Madigan Army Health-related Center. for a lot more information, visit or contact from (877) 576-5343.

The first to die following the war ended up being Cpl. Dennis Williams.


If he had just about any hesitancy regarding enlisting, a cousin's death inside the Iraq War took it away, said Cindy Kirker.

Some discussed overcoming their very own suicidal thoughts; others offered an ear or aid finding the job to anyone that necessary any lift.

They had lunch with every single other within December 2010, Bergren said. Cory Jenkins, Sgt. 27, 2009: Sgt. Regarding the first time in his life, he soon began lacking events along with his kids